Have you ever found inspiration in the quiet hours of the night, when the world is still and your mind wanders to the most unexpected places? For this writer, in the midst of a sleepless night, thoughts turned to a rather peculiar subject: worm dances. Yes, you read that right. Worms. Dancing.
Lying awake in the early hours of a Sunday morning, the gentle patter of rain against the windowpane served as an unlikely muse. As thoughts swirled, a question popped into mind, prompting a half-asleep query to a slumbering spouse: “Whadaya think the worms are dancing to?”
The response, delivered with endearing dryness, was simply, “You’re weird.”
Yet, the seed of an idea had been planted. After a moment of shared contemplation, a sleepy suggestion emerged: “How about the Cupid Shuffle?” Suddenly, the lyrics, “To the right, to the right, to the left, to the left,” echoed in the mind, bringing with them a whimsical image of earthworms grooving beneath the soil. It was time to embrace this strange inspiration and delve into the magic of the worm dance.
This whimsical notion had actually been subtly brewing since the previous day, while engaged in the earthy task of spreading composted manure. Witnessing the transformation of bedding pack into nutrient-rich compost is always a fascinating process. The sheer volume reduction, coupled with the stabilization of nutrients and the mellowing of scents, is a testament to the power of decomposition.
As the tractor effortlessly loaded this worm-friendly feast, thoughts drifted amidst the warming sun. The initial musings took a festive turn, morphing into a soil-centric rendition of “The Night Before Christmas.” In this farmer’s reimagining, the worms were nestled snug in their soil beds, while visions of delectable organic matter danced in their tiny heads. Who knew compost spreading could be so inspirational, sparking thoughts of the underground worm dance scene!
The subsequent rounds of compost distribution brought forth a new soundtrack: Tracy Byrd’s catchy tune, “Watermelon Crawl.” However, in this context, the lyrics took on a decidedly vermicular twist:
The worms wiggled and they giggled and be all you ever saw, this is how you do the watermelon (worm) crawl.
This playful melody brought to mind Daniel Kline’s observation of red wigglers ingeniously wrapping themselves around blades of grass, patiently pulling their leafy bounty down into their burrows for a late-night supper. Could this be akin to savoring a sweet, juicy watermelon in the worm world, a prize worthy of a celebratory worm dance?
As the hours of spreading “black gold” progressed, the mental jukebox played on, offering up a diverse playlist for the composting conductor. Van Morrison’s classic “Moondance” naturally morphed into the “Worm Dance,” a soulful serenade for the soil inhabitants. And then, a childhood rhyme surfaced, adding another layer to the worm dance narrative:
The Apple and the Worm
I bit an apple
That had a worm.
I swallowed the apple,
I swallowed the worm.
I felt it squiggle,
I felt it squirm.
I felt it wiggle,
I felt it turn.
It felt so slippery,
Slimy, scummy,
I felt it land – PLOP –
In my tummy!
I guess that worm is there to stay
Unless . . .
I swallow a bird some day!
After hours dedicated to enriching the fields, and exhausting a repertoire of worm-themed tunes, the imagination took a final, whimsical leap into the realm of actual worm dancing. Images arose of night crawlers busting out “Gangnam Style” moves and attempting the worm limbo with impressive flexibility. Yet, the ultimate vision was inspired by the iconic 1980s breakdancing sensation, “The Worm.” This classic move, where a dancer lies prone and undulates their body in a wave-like motion, perfectly embodies the essence of a worm in motion. Definitely a dance move that might be best left to the professionals – or perhaps, the worms themselves!
All playful worm songs and imagined dances aside, the profound satisfaction derived from nurturing the soil and building organic matter remains a constant source of fulfillment. This annual practice of revitalizing specific fields is fundamental to a robust nutrient management plan. In fact, a well-designed grazing strategy is intrinsically linked to soil fertility. It naturally enhances soil health by contributing sloughed-off root exudates, enriching the ground with litter, and promoting plant diversity. These elements collectively create ideal habitats and, dare we say, dance floors for a multitude of soil organisms.
As Allegany County Dairyman, Kim Shaklee aptly stated, “We grass farmers are simply here for the amusement of the microbes.” If this is indeed the case, then observing our grazing practices must be akin to attending a captivating circus performance for the microscopic world beneath our feet. Perhaps the next step is to invent an electromagnetic shrink ray and truly immerse ourselves in the world of worm dancing, joining the party animals in their subterranean studios.
