A few days ago, my daughter returned from school disheartened because classmates had mocked her for doing The Floss Dance.
For those unfamiliar, the floss dance, as Wikipedia describes it, is “a dance move in which a person repeatedly swings their arms, with clenched fists, from the back of their body to the front, on each side.” It’s a fun, celebratory, and incredibly popular dance. In fact, my child’s first-grade class incorporates floss dance breaks to inject movement into their sedentary school day.
My daughter genuinely enjoys these active breaks, and our family often joins in with floss dance videos at home. She loves moving to the rhythm, learning the steps, and admiring the older kids performing the dance online. However, being teased about it made her feel insecure, and she became hesitant to do the floss dance at school.
After a heartfelt conversation with her, I reached out to her teacher and the parents of the children involved to find a constructive solution.
I was truly impressed by the swift and understanding responses from everyone. The parents talked to their children about empathy and considering others’ feelings, and each child created a card to apologize.
One parent also thoughtfully asked if, knowing my child’s personality, I had any other suggestions to further improve the situation. I then asked my daughter, and without hesitation, she suggested scheduling playdates with each of them. Her reasoning was simple and insightful: good friends who spend time together outside of school are less likely to tease each other during school hours.
Recent articles on parenting have highlighted the limitations of simply forcing apologies from children. Apologies may not always be sincere, and different children have different ways of making amends. For my daughter, just hearing “sorry” didn’t feel as meaningful as actually spending quality time together and getting to know each other better. For her, strengthening a friendship was a more concrete way to foster compassion and trust.
Recently, one of the children came over to our house to play. They enjoyed apple slices with peanut butter, constructed elaborate Lego cars with wheels, and used walkie-talkies to whisper secrets from room to room.
And then, they danced the floss.
Together.
