Almost two decades ago, life took my husband and me to Eastern Europe, a region still bearing the scars of recent conflict. Our introduction to this new chapter included the sobering reality of land mine awareness training. This experience unexpectedly resurfaced when I first encountered Andrew Peterson’s poignant song, “Dancing in the Minefields.”
Initially, it was the chorus’s opening line that resonated deeply, but it was the closing phrase that truly lingered, prompting reflection on the profound truth embedded within Peterson’s thoughtful lyrics:
And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re sailing in the storms
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for…
Recently, I rediscovered a 2010 interview with Peterson, coinciding with the initial release of “Dancing in the Minefields.” In it, he eloquently articulated the song’s core meaning and message.
Any good marriage involves a thousand deaths to self. The good news is, in Christ that marriage involves at least as many resurrections. We lay our lives down and enter this perilous dance with another human being who has done the same. Why should we expect to emerge unscathed?…
You need to know that if you are in an intimate relationship with someone there will be arguments. There will be tension. Mountains are moving in your soul and you’ll have scars. That’s part of God’s design and that makes marriage beautiful.
Peterson’s words echoed the sentiments of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the esteemed pastor, scholar, professor, and theologian, whose wisdom offers a crucial perspective on marriage:
It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but, from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. – from Letters and Papers from Prison
This quote is one I’ve often heard, and my husband frequently incorporates it when officiating wedding ceremonies. Marriage transcends mere romantic love; it is profoundly more. Marriage embodies a commitment deeply rooted in a promise. This commitment serves as the essential fuel for love, particularly when navigating the inevitable challenges.
Especially when you find yourselves metaphorically “dancing in minefields,” as Peterson so aptly puts it, when life seems to be erupting chaotically around you.
Or when you are “sailing in the storms,” relentlessly tossed and turned until your love feels unsteady and off-balance.
That’s what the promise is for. This powerful line encapsulates the essence of commitment in marriage, a theme beautifully explored in what we might call the Marriage Song Dance – the intricate and often challenging choreography of partnership. Just like a dance requires practice, coordination, and trust, so too does marriage demand these elements to navigate life’s unpredictable rhythms. The marriage song dance isn’t always smooth; it has its stumbles, missteps, and moments of discord. But it is in these challenging steps that the promise of marriage truly shines, providing the rhythm and structure to keep moving forward together.
Are there “minefields” or “storms” currently threatening your own marriage song dance? This week, I encourage you to carve out time to discuss these challenges with your spouse. Reaffirm your commitment to weather any storm, to navigate any minefield, hand-in-hand, step-in-step.
And if your marital dance feels like it’s faltering, remember it’s okay to seek guidance. Resources are available to help you rediscover the harmony in your marriage song dance. Click here for information on resources designed to support and strengthen your marriage.
To delve deeper into Peterson’s insights, you can read the full interview and find the lyrics and recording of “Dancing in the Minefields” at this link.
About the Author
Melody Morris
Melody Morris has shared 35 years of marriage with her husband, Ken, and together they have raised five young adult children. Their shared passions include travel and cooking. Melody contributes her expertise at Marriage Dynamics Institute as a consultant for the A New Beginning workshop, dedicated to marriages facing crisis.
