As we step into a new year, many of us, especially artists and creatives, are on a journey of self-improvement and identity realignment. The year’s end often brings a time for reflection, sometimes a stark look at our successes, challenges, and perceived failures. For dancers, this reflection can be particularly complex, as the lines of success in this demanding art form are often blurred. What truly defines success as a dancer? Interviews, studies, and personal experiences reveal a multifaceted answer, one that’s rarely clear-cut. The reality is, only a small fraction of dancers achieve the coveted principal status in major companies, and even fewer enjoy year-round contracts in the US. Broadway gigs, while sometimes long-lasting, are still temporary. Smaller dance companies often offer contracts per show or season. Even prestigious film, TV, or commercial work might only span a few days or weeks. Many dancers navigate a patchwork career, piecing together income from performing, teaching, choreographing, assisting, and training. Embodying a sense of success in such a fluctuating industry requires immense resilience, as the definition of success itself shifts from person to person, season to season, and even moment to moment. It takes extraordinary grit and determination to persevere.
It’s against this challenging backdrop, and with these very questions in mind, that I had the pleasure of spending time with Kara Tatelbaum, the author of Putting My Heels Down, a compelling and refreshingly honest memoir that delves into the world of dance and self-discovery. Tatelbaum’s journey as a dance artist, Pilates instructor, educator, and Resilience & Wellness coach is both unique and deeply relatable. Her book became an instant page-turner for me.
Book cover –
Book Cover: “Putting My Heels Down” by Kara Tatelbaum – A Story of Dance, Resilience, and Finding Your Path.
Despite her diverse professional roles, Kara Tatelbaum firmly identifies as a dancer. Throughout the ups and downs of her career, the challenges and realignments, she has never lost touch with this core identity. This unwavering clarity has been her compass, guiding her towards new and unexpected pathways. It’s also a driving force behind her decision to share her story in Putting My Heels Down.
In a conversation, Tatelbaum highlighted a key aspect of her book’s appeal: “Most of us don’t have a career that we necessarily feel like we made it. I have a lot of people who relate to my story in a way that maybe they don’t relate to Swan Dive.” Referencing Georgina Pazcoguin’s memoir about her life at the New York City Ballet, Tatelbaum points to a different narrative. She shared an anecdote about a dancer she had admired, a Paul Taylor dancer she mentions in her book, who reached out after reading Putting My Heels Down. This dancer, someone Tatelbaum perceived as having “made it,” expressed deep relatability to Kara’s journey. This interaction underscored a powerful realization: the perception of “making it” in dance might be very different from the reality, even for those who appear to have reached the pinnacle of success. This relatability forms the heart of what makes Putting My Heels Down so engaging and universally resonant.
“Most dance memoirs are NOT written by dancers that didn’t make it, whatever making it, you know, means to us,” Tatelbaum explained, reflecting on the publishing process. She recounted conversations with publishers where the question arose: “Who’s Kara Tatelbaum? She’s no Misty Copeland.” While Kara may not be a household name like Misty Copeland, Gelsey Kirkland, Martha Graham, or Alvin Ailey, her story, and the stories of countless dancers like her, are equally vital. Each step forward in her career was often followed by setbacks, moments that could be perceived as failures. However, Tatelbaum resists this negative framing. Putting My Heels Down chronicles the constant reassessment and recalibration that many dancers experience as their bodies change, opportunities fluctuate, or shows come to an end. It is also, at its core, a story of love – love for dance, love from family and friends, the unwavering support of her husband, and crucially, self-love. These anchors have enabled Tatelbaum to return to dance time and again, ultimately finding a sense of contentment and acceptance within her journey. This is the essence of resilience – the ability to get back up and “do your dance”, even when you feel down, down, down.
Kara Tatelbaum at book signing – Photo by Michael Mazzuca
Kara Tatelbaum at a Book Signing Event, Sharing Her Story with Readers.
However, this resilience and self-acceptance were not always present. Like many dancers, Tatelbaum began lessons at a young age. Some of her early experiences, as detailed in the book, serve as a cautionary tale about ballet training and certain teaching methods. One of the most frequently quoted lines from Putting My Heels Down comes from her childhood teacher and mentor, Miss Lorraine: “If your father practiced medicine the way you dance, he’d be under a million lawsuits.” While such harsh criticism might make a reader wince, it’s important to understand the full context. Miss Lorraine, despite her flaws, remained a significant mentor in Tatelbaum’s life. A more pervasive and damaging message Tatelbaum received was the idea that she didn’t possess the “dancer’s body.” She was told her tendons were too short, her plié too shallow, and her hamstrings too tight. There was a degree of objective truth to these assessments. Tatelbaum endured significant pain throughout her performing career, undergoing two hip surgeries before the age of 30, in addition to numerous other injuries. Her second successful career as a highly sought-after Pilates instructor emerged from a dual necessity: to heal her body and to find a flexible and sustainable way to earn a living.
Putting My Heels Down contains many moments that evoke a strong reaction, prompting readers to think, “That’s not how dancers should be trained today. That’s not how things should be done.” Yet, throughout her narrative, Tatelbaum displays gratitude and grace, rather than bitterness. When asked about her apparent lack of anger, she explained, “I think I did have anger, you know, when I wrote the book. But I don’t have anger about that now. I have perspective on it. And I wrote the book 10 years before it came out. I got an agent for my book in 2013.”
The anger she once felt, however, served as a powerful motivator. “You know, when I was a little girl putting my legs out reaching my toes, I felt that pain and it wasn’t an achy pain. It was a stabby pain in my hamstring. I always had pain. And I would just suck it up. I had the anger that came with that pain. That fueled me.” This demonstrates a crucial aspect of resilience: channeling difficult emotions into positive action, finding fuel even in the “down” moments to keep dancing forward.
The rewrites and revisions of her book allowed this newfound perspective to shine through. The focus shifted to the importance of sharing her story, and by extension, the importance of all dancers’ stories. “All dancers’ stories matter. They are actually a part of dance history. Even if you are not the prima ballerina, you still have an essential role in the history of dance. Especially in our industry, where things are passed down; through apprenticeship, through teachers. We have such strong relationships with our teachers. That lineage is just so important. At every level, we are all a part of that. When you leave dance, or you transition, or you expand, that’s still your lineage, that’s still your family. That was something for me, you know, my very niche world of downtown New York City modern dance. People don’t know about this. So it was important to me that my book was accessible enough about dance that people would want to be interested in this niche world.”
Kara Tatelbaum in
Kara Tatelbaum in “Grounded”: Exploring Movement and Storytelling Through Dance.
As Putting My Heels Down unfolds, and Tatelbaum’s personal story and dance history progress, the reader sees that alongside the hardships, she also had significant advantages. She benefited from incredibly supportive parents. Unlike many young dancers who face discouragement, despite struggles in her ballet school, her teacher believed in her potential and offered support. The introduction of a modern dance teacher proved transformative, allowing her to truly flourish. Breaking from traditional paths for female dancers, her choreographic voice was also nurtured. After a discouraging audition for Juilliard’s dance division, she was accepted into NYU/Tisch, graduating as a University Honors Scholar with a BFA, followed by an MFA in Choreography with a Teaching Assistantship from The Conservatory of Dance at SUNY Purchase. She became a prominent figure in the downtown NYC dance scene with her company, independentdancemaker|Kara Tatelbaum, earning critical acclaim in the New York Times. A career highlight came when she was the first American artist sanctioned by the Chinese government to perform at the US Pavilion at the 2010 Shanghai Expo (the book reveals the unexpected turn of events there!). Her diverse career continues to evolve, encompassing roles as an author, educator, and coach. She leads a fulfilling life, empowering others while still prioritizing her own dance practice through ballet classes.
One of the defining traits that distinguishes Tatelbaum from many dancers who may step away after initial setbacks is her resilience. Growing research emphasizes that resilience is a stronger predictor of success for artists than innate talent or physical attributes. (For a deeper academic exploration, see Creativity, Trauma, and Resilience by Paula Thomson and S. Victoria Jaque). Unlike talent or body type, resilience is a skill that can be cultivated. It’s not fixed, but rather, can be strengthened and developed. Recognizing the importance of resilience is what led Tatelbaum to her current role as a certified resilience and wellness coach.
“I’ve been obsessed with resilience, you know; What is resilience? How do we stay resilient? You know, what are the secrets here? And how do we figure this out?” she explains. This pursuit of understanding and fostering resilience is central to her coaching and her message to dancers.
Tatelbaum shares a life philosophy that underscores the power of resilience in a dance career: “I certainly had a very narrow idea of what it was to be a dancer. And now my message really is, for both my book and my coaching, dream bigger. Widening our dreams increases our chances of success. If we only have a dream of SAB and New York City Ballet, there is a very, very narrow chance that that opportunity is going to open up to you. But if we really widen our vision and look at the why. Why do we dance? Who do we dance for? Who do we want our audience to be? Maybe if you want to dance with City Ballet, it’s because you want to be making money… But, you know what? You could tour with Beyonce! Have an even bigger paycheck and an even bigger arena! And still dance! It’s just dreaming bigger and widening our vision of ourselves.” This perspective encourages dancers to broaden their horizons, to see beyond traditional definitions of success, and to find their own unique rhythm and path, even when they feel “down, down, down.”
3D photo of
3D Image of “Putting My Heels Down” by Kara Tatelbaum, Featuring a Quote from Kirkus Reviews.
Tatelbaum shares this expansive vision in colleges, workshops, and her Pilates classes. She applies it to her own life daily, constantly evolving and embracing new possibilities.
Putting My Heels Down concludes with Tatelbaum contemplating her next steps. She now lives with her husband and two children, a life chapter seventeen-year-old Kara could never have imagined. The twists and turns in her life after the book’s ending are just as compelling and worthy of exploration as the journey chronicled within its pages, hinting at a potential second book and article in the future.
“I really love performing. I love being completely honest with my story, whether it’s physical or in the book. I love being in an audience and I love the exchange with as wide an audience as possible. And now here I am with this book… It’s given me a much bigger platform than I would have dreamed up as a choreographer,” Tatelbaum reflects on the unexpected opportunities her book has created, including an invitation to the American Dance Festival (ADF), an event she had never been invited to as a performer. Through her book, she has connected with audiences far beyond the niche world of downtown NYC dance, demonstrating the power of sharing one’s authentic story.
To discover more about Kara Tatelbaum and purchase Putting My Heels Down, visit her website.
Written by Nancy Dobbs Owen for LA Dance Chronicle.
Featured image: Kara Tatelbaum – Photo on right Ms. Tatelbaum in “Grounded” – Photo by Steven Schreiber – Photo on left courtesy of the artist – Photo composition by LA Dance Chronicle.
