Jessica Flatequal’s “Farewell Buddy” celebration of life at the Verizon Civic Center on April 13 brought together hundreds from the University community and beyond to commemorate her remarkable life.
Organizer, advocate, and inspiration, Jessica Flatequal, who served as the director of the LGBT Center since 2004, passed away on April 9 due to liver disease. She was widely recognized for her unwavering dedication to LGBT and women’s rights, her contagious humor, and her signature bow tie. The celebration was filled with heartfelt tributes, songs, and concluded with a video of Jessica herself encouraging everyone to sing and dance along to Abba’s iconic “Dancing Queen.”
Speakers at the event highlighted the profound global and personal impact of her work at Minnesota State University, Mankato. She inspired countless students to embrace their true selves, motivated community groups to be more inclusive, and encouraged government leaders to champion civil rights for all.
To further illuminate Jessica’s unique personality and impact, TODAY reached out to those who knew her best, seeking recollections of smaller, yet significant moments that revealed her character, intellect, and wit. Here are some of those cherished memories:
“(Jessica and I) met about 20 years ago. I was a school teacher who was going to run for Congress. Tilting at windmills, most people thought. But she called and said ‘Tim, we have Pride Festival. It’s down at Sibley Park and you need to set up a card table down there and meet people.’ And we did. Our entire campaign team (of four) were on hand.
To everyone who would walk by, Jessica would say ‘Come here, come here, come here—meet our next congressman, he’s for a lot of good things, and marriage equality….meet our next congressman, he’s for a lot of good things and marriage equality….’ And I remember thinking: She believes in us more than we do right now. I said, ‘We better work a little harder here, we better do a little more.’
Because the expectation—and you could always get it out of Jessica—was if it’s the right thing to do, why would you not do it? And if it’s the right thing to do, why would you not put your whole soul into doing it? And if it’s the right thing to do, why would you not do it with joy? That impacted me.”
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz
Jessica had a knack for making me believe I was the perfect person for any task, from hosting a LGBTQ Trivia Night to stage-managing Pride Fest. After years of managing the stage, I took a break. When I rejoined the committee for Pride this past year, Jessica greeted me with, “Where have you been, anyway?”
Esther Marcella Hoffmann, Mankato Writer, Performance Artist
One of the first things Jessica asked me after Tim was elected and we were getting started—it was during the Bush years, and it was our first campaign without Jessica—she said, “I just have to ask, don’t you just want to swear more? Can you even swear? Swear for me. I haven’t heard you swear ever I don’t think.”
Meaningful relationships are built through meaningful work together. That’s how Jessica and I started, in a park, at a small Pride Fest that has grown into a significant celebration. She included me every step of the way, and I’m deeply grateful for that.
One of our last conversations was about being an ally. It’s not always clear how to be the best ally, right? And sometimes you have tough questions you only ask yourself. I knew I could ask Jessica those questions. Those are the conversations I will truly miss. She shared incredibly insightful things with me—about myself and what it means to be an ally. Those are precious lessons I will always treasure.
Gwen Walz, Minnesota First Lady
Mankato Pride was transitioning from Sibley Park to Riverfront Park. It was a new location with many logistical challenges, and community expectations were high. As I drove into Riverfront Drive, I noticed the American flag flying proudly. I commented that it would be amazing to fly the Pride flag beneath it, wondering if we needed permission. Jessica, without hesitation, declared, “Do it and ask for forgiveness later.” We climbed through the bushes, untangled the cord from the pole, and raised the Pride flag. Ever since, both the Pride and American flags have flown together in Mankato, celebrating inclusivity for everyone. It’s a constant reminder that true freedom is for all.
Gregory Todd Wilkins, Associate Director, Centennial Student Union and Student Activities
Jessica and I painted together a few times. She was always so encouraging, even though I am a complete beginner. Actually, the first time we painted together, she joined me at one of those wine and paint nights at a local restaurant, even though she wasn’t a fan of them. She felt they lacked creativity because you just copy someone else’s work. But I wanted to go and was nervous to paint without guidance, and Jessica came with me because that was her way; she supported people.
Professionally, having Jessica as an advocate within the administration was invaluable. She fought for what was right and ensured students were always at the heart of discussions. Having Jess on your side was a major victory for you and your cause.
When Jessica entered a room, she radiated life, laughter, silliness, creativity, passion, and conviction. It is a profound tragedy that we have lost that light.
Laura Schultz, Director, Minnesota State Mankato Violence Awareness and Response Program
Every fall, at the start of the academic year, Jessica would enthusiastically attend President Davenport’s convocation address at the University. While most would simply say, “I’m going to convocation,” she would sing, “Connn-Vo-Cate good times, Come on!!” Every. Single. Year.
And after convocation, while others enjoyed the complimentary juice and donut holes, Jess would indulge in what she called Mav Balls. Jess was definitely not like most people, and I think we can all agree on that.
Brian Wollum, Minneapolis Director of Advising at Anoka-Ramsey Community College, Former LGBT Center Program Adviser
Music was always central to our friendship. We met at a live show in the 80s and became instant friends. We shared a love for concerts… The Indigo Girls, The Judds, Melissa Etheridge, Madonna, and countless others. … We were friends throughout high school and college, learning guitar and singing harmonies together. Our first live performance as “Jenn and Jess” was at the Coffee Hag.
In 2006, I traveled from Minneapolis to Mankato to see The Indigo Girls. Of course, Jessica was there with her partner Maria. We cheered wildly during the performance and sang along to every word. Afterward, we talked about life, and Jessica brought up my unfinished college degree. I only needed 21 more credits. She looked at me and said, “You should finish! You can do it, buddy! We can help you figure out how to make it happen.” Jessica ignited a fire in me. I enrolled in classes as soon as possible. And she was right. Jessica and Maria helped me navigate my path to graduation. I did it. I graduated with honors. And…five months after graduating, I bought The Coffee Hag.
Jessica was the first person I called with the news. She responded with an enthusiastic “Yay! That’s awesome, buddy! It’s perfect for you!” I moved back to Mankato. Jessica will forever be a catalyst in my life. She reminds me every day to be true to myself, just as she was. She was the kind of friend who cared as deeply as family. The kind who was always there, no matter what. The kind who showed up. Jessica was my buddy. My friend. A sister of my heart.
Jenn Melby-Kelly, Owner, Coffee Hag, Mankato City Council member
When Jessica greeted you, it wasn’t just a simple “Hi.” There was always a genuine connection, direct eye contact, and a warm smile. She made you feel like the only person in her world in that moment.
Wilbur Frink, Director, Open Arts Minnesota
Jess and I have been friends since college in the early 90s at Minnesota State Mankato. She was by far the funniest and wittiest friend I’ve ever had. She possessed an extraordinary capacity for empathy and care. There’s a line in a Maya Angelou poem, “Looking at me, ought to make you proud!” That’s how I always felt in Jess’s presence—proud of her advocacy, proud of her passion for social justice, proud of her drive to make our community, state, and country better for everyone. She met people where they were, showed them compassion, and encouraged them to be more loving and open. All of us who love her have enormous shoes to fill. We must all step up, take action, and dedicate ourselves to making our world more loving and welcoming to all. It’s time to roll up our sleeves.”
Beth-Ann O’Halloran, Product Specialist, Capstone Publishing
The world feels a little less gay because she is gone, but it is significantly gayer because she lived.
Maria Bevaqua, Chair, Gender & Women’s Studies, Jessica’s Wife
