I say we can act if want to if we don’t nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And i can act like an imbecile
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we’re doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody takin’ the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Psychological safety is indeed important, or so it seems everyone agrees. When you bring up psychological safety in discussions with teams, managers, and executives, you’re met with a chorus of nods. Advocates for radical honesty nod, neurodiversity champions nod, introverts and extroverts find common ground, and even micromanagers seem to understand. Surprisingly, even those notorious “brilliant jerks” get it.
It’s easy to see why. The concept of psychological safety resonates deeply with our human nature. We all crave acknowledgement, respect, a listening ear, to be taken seriously, supported, protected, trusted, and perhaps even, dare we say, valued. But let’s take a moment to examine psychological safety in the context of everyday software product development – not in life-or-death scenarios like nursing, bomb disposal, or submarine operations.
Recently, a senior leader reached out about implementing a “program to cultivate and maintain psychological safety within teams.” This executive was “completely on board,” understanding that “high-performing teams are impossible without psychological safety.” Apparently, a colleague named Dan had returned from an executive retreat where psychological safety was the hot topic.
My investigation began with interviews. The reality was starkly different from the ideal. The environment was a pressure cooker. Teams were stretched to their limits, constantly on the verge of cognitive overload. Employees were working “insane hours,” driven by type-A personalities to “routinely exceed customer expectations” and “overcome technical hurdles.” The atmosphere was perpetually tense and highly competitive. Like Google, this company, spurred on by Dan’s retreat insights, was determined to explore every avenue to achieve high-performing teams. And everyone, from individual contributors to senior staff, loved the idea of psychological safety – because, of course, who doesn’t want to feel safe at work?
However, something felt amiss. When people spoke about psychological safety, it was invariably about their needs – their desire to speak up, to advance their careers, to feel secure. Or, they spoke in vague terms about “avoiding complacency” and “keeping it real.” There was a noticeable lack of self-awareness. And almost no one mentioned the elephant in the room: the impact of relentless work hours, constant reorganizations, and cutthroat competition on the team’s actual psychological well-being. It seemed as if psychological safety had become a battleground for something else entirely.
In my experience, and this is anecdotal but telling, psychological safety has often become a proxy discussion for a deeper yearning: the search for meaning and purpose in our work, especially in workplaces that feel increasingly temporary, hyper-competitive, manipulative, incoherent, overwhelming, and devoid of soul. We crave authenticity, something that “feels real,” which translates to the desire to “get real.” Passionate problem solvers, the individual contributors, enter the corporate tech world only to confront the profound dysfunction that can exist within these organizations. Our reaction is to cling to anything that feels genuine and humane, and psychological safety, at face value, fits that bill.
Contrast this with organizations that are humble, coherent, curious, honest, and thoughtful, where a manageable level of healthy tension exists and there’s a genuine commitment to making work “safe” for everyone – not just for personal gain or the bottom line. Sometimes, I wish we would replace the term “psychological safety” with simpler words like decency, respect, being a good listener, and sustainability. Are these words too soft? I hope not.
I hear stories of companies investing in team-level training to boost psychological safety – ostensibly to address our fundamental need for it – while blatantly unethical behavior is tolerated, even rewarded, among “high-performing” executives. Meanwhile, employees are intellectually, emotionally, and even physically exhausted. What kind of message does that truly send? It’s a far cry from the liberating spirit of the safety dance, where everyone is invited to participate in a joyful, uninhibited expression.
Knowledge work is complex and demanding. It’s collaborative, a team sport. It attracts individuals driven by passion for problem-solving, who desire coherence, agency, and the opportunity to make a real impact. We can intellectualize psychological safety as much as we want, but at its core, it often boils down to simple human qualities: having the courage to be present, choosing not to be an ass, learning to relax, considering the needs of those around you, and providing people with the space they need to do meaningful work. Perhaps, instead of obsessing over “psychological safety” programs, we should focus on fostering a workplace culture where decency and respect are the default setting, and where everyone feels genuinely invited to “dance” – safely and authentically.
