One of my closest college friends, who understands me deeply, gifted me a beautiful plaque after my cancer diagnosis. It features a quote by Vivian Greene: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to Dance In The Rain.”
I see this plaque every day, and while I might have encountered this saying before, it resonates with a profound meaning now. My friend always has a knack for understanding my feelings, knowing exactly what to say and give me!
Before cancer entered my life, I, like many, envisioned life improving with age. I was on the typical quest for the perfect job, greater financial security, a wonderful partner, a dream house, and ultimately, a stress-free retirement. Much of our lives seem consumed by “If only…” – If only I had more money, a better job, lived in a different place, life would be better.
But this is a fallacy. As Woody Allen famously quipped, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” This sentiment echoes an old Yiddish proverb, “Man plans, God laughs.” Reflect on your own life and all the plans you’ve made. While you were focused on building a career, raising a family, pursuing education, and simply putting food on the table, life often takes unexpected turns. Yet, how much of it would you truly want to change?
Now, in my later years, I realize there’s no perfect age. Childhood is filled with anxieties, adolescence can be challenging, and college and beyond often bring financial worries. Then comes marriage and raising children, career progression (or stagnation), and the anticipation of retirement. By the time retirement arrives, the hustle of life may have subsided, but some days, my body aches all over. I often joke about wishing for my youthful body with my current wisdom.
Every stage of life has its mix of good and bad. There’s always some “rain.” Jobs are lost, loved ones pass away, relationships end, financial difficulties arise, health issues emerge, and unforeseen events disrupt our lives. If we wait for perfect conditions, they will never materialize.
Therefore, we learn to dance. We savor the present, not just the future. We find joy and happiness along the way. Storms will inevitably come, but we learn to dance through them.
This realization becomes particularly poignant when facing cancer. Everything becomes more “real.” Wasting time wishing it would disappear and we’d return to perfect health is squandering precious moments. For some cancers like mine, there’s no cure. Other cancers might be “cured,” but long-term effects like lymphedema and chemo fog can persist.
I’ve even discovered how to dance during treatments. Driving across town five days a week every month to the cancer center for painful stomach injections, which leave me sore for days, is not enjoyable. However, the wonderful staff at the center makes it bearable. I make it a point to ask the nurses, receptionists, and doctors about their families and lives. After all, I know my story, but I’m curious about theirs. Having been a counselor for many years, I find everyone’s story fascinating. I’ve learned about pregnancies, engagements, sick children, retirements, and all sorts of life events happening to the people I interact with, much like in my working days. I also get to know some of the other patients in the waiting room. Often, I encounter former students from the community college where I taught for a decade and catch up on their lives. It’s all part of dancing in the rain.
Every moment spent worrying is a moment not spent dancing. All the worrying I’m prone to (and I am a natural worrier) steals precious seconds from laughter, singing, and dancing. Rain will fall on my parade, and everyone else’s too. But I still go out with friends and family, share funny chemo fog stories, laugh, and embrace life. I refuse to wait for life to be perfect.
So, put on your rain boots, grab a raincoat, step outside, open your mouth, catch the raindrops, laugh, and sing. Your neighbors might think you’re a bit crazy, but that’s perfectly fine! Enjoy life, because that’s what we are meant to do!
