Becoming a mother-in-law is a new and wonderful chapter in my life. As a mom to seven children, including my three sons living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD), adding ‘mother-in-law’ to my titles felt incredibly special when my daughter Lexi married Nick on August 3rd. The wedding was a dream, filled with so much happiness, culminating in a wedding dance that truly embodied love and inclusion.
Betty’s seven children and her new son-in-law at her daughter Lexi’s wedding.
Lexi and Nick’s smiles were infectious; their joy illuminated the entire day, from the walk down the aisle to every moment on the dance floor at their reception. Their love was palpable, a beautiful reflection seen in the eyes of everyone celebrating with them.
Thinking back, my plans shifted when Lexi went to college. I envisioned myself frequently visiting her in Lincoln, Nebraska, attending track meets, and becoming part of her college life, much like I was during her high school years. However, the COVID-19 pandemic changed those plans drastically. Her first year was disrupted, track season canceled, and subsequent years brought challenges as two of her brothers, Max and Rowen, lost their ability to walk due to DMD.
Traveling to see Lexi became more complex as we navigated life caring for sons who were no longer ambulatory. While we adapted and became experienced travelers with wheelchairs, my initial vision of being heavily involved in Lexi’s college life faded. Suddenly, college was over, and she was engaged.
Despite the distance, I cherished the opportunities to connect with Lexi’s friends during her engagement. Bridal showers and parties allowed me to see firsthand the wonderful people who surrounded her. The wedding weekend offered even more precious time to truly appreciate the community of friends who have supported and loved my daughter as she’s grown into a strong, independent woman, now embarking on marriage.
Special Wedding Dances and Inclusivity
My sons have attended dances before, like prom and homecoming, but often found themselves on the sidelines, navigating the accessibility of the dance floor. Lexi’s wedding reception was a completely different experience. Max, Rowen, and Charlie were not just present; they were active participants on the dance floor for most of the night. They were so immersed in the celebration, surrounded by young people moving to the music, that at times I couldn’t even spot them from my seat. Lexi’s friends were truly exceptional in their inclusivity.
Max in his wheelchair on the dance floor at his sister’s wedding.
I’ve encountered general friendliness and attempts at inclusion before, but Lexi’s friends went beyond mere attempts. They genuinely included my sons, holding their hands, dancing alongside their wheelchairs, and ensuring they felt part of every moment. If the boys paused for a break, these friends would come to bring them right back into the heart of the dance floor. It wasn’t just dancing; it was conversation, laughter, and shared joy. When the groomsmen lightened the mood by removing their jackets, soon enough, my sons were right there with them, vests and all, fully integrated into the fun.
No one instructed Lexi’s friends to make sure my sons had a good time at the wedding dance, and no one taught them how to engage with wheelchair users. Yet, their inclusivity was completely natural, as if dancing with someone in a wheelchair was the most normal thing in the world. This Mother Daughter Wedding Dance celebration, although not a traditional mother-daughter dance, was symbolic of the inclusive spirit present throughout the entire event. It highlighted the beautiful community Lexi has cultivated.
The entire night was fantastic for numerous reasons, but especially because of the people we shared it with. Knowing my daughter, I’m not surprised by the kindness of her friends and new family. Lexi has lived with Duchenne since her brothers’ diagnosis when she was nine, and she has consistently shown an extraordinary ability to include them in every aspect of her life. That generous love naturally attracts goodness. I am profoundly grateful for the wonderful people surrounding my daughter and overjoyed that they extended that warmth and inclusivity to my sons on the dance floor.
