Self-love has been a long and winding journey for many, and it certainly was for me. After giving birth to my son, now five years old, facing my naked reflection became a challenge. I struggled to see beauty in myself as my body underwent significant changes, leaving me feeling deeply insecure. The initial excitement of losing pregnancy weight was quickly replaced by discouragement when it returned, accompanied by more. For a long time, the only way I could bear to look in the mirror was fully clothed, unable to accept the stretch marks and the loose skin around my c-section scar. My thighs, rubbing together with cellulite, served as a constant reminder of how far I felt from my body goals.
For about two and a half years, I was trapped in a cycle of trying to lose weight, jumping from one diet to another and attempting to maintain a consistent workout routine. But my efforts were always short-lived. I would see some initial progress, only to lose motivation and revert to my old habits, ending up exactly where I started. The lack of willpower was exhausting and emotionally draining. Then, in August 2014, a pivotal moment arrived: I started therapy. Therapy proved to be the key to breaking this destructive cycle.
In therapy, I began to unpack the emotional baggage that had weighed me down for years. The heaviest burden was undoubtedly the trauma from my childhood. I had experienced abuse, neglect, and lived in poverty. It was only through therapy that I realized the profound impact these experiences had on my adult life, contributing to domestic violence victimization, low self-esteem, insecurity, and my ongoing struggle with weight.
After approximately eight months of therapy, I felt a powerful urge to prioritize my physical health. A surge of inspiration, unlike anything I had felt before, motivated me to take action. I abruptly cut out all junk food, eliminating anything unhealthy from my diet. I also started running daily. Within three months, I had lost around 40 pounds. Now, two and a half years later, I am sixty-four pounds lighter.
Why I Embrace the Mirror with My Dance, Sometimes Naked:
Self-Reflection Through Movement
No matter how often people complimented my beauty, I couldn’t internalize it. I simply didn’t feel beautiful. My external self-perception mirrored my internal state. Over time, I’ve come to understand that self-perception is fundamental. If I don’t believe in my own beauty, I can’t truly accept compliments from others, nor can I genuinely appreciate beauty in others because our external perceptions often reflect our internal selves. As I focused on becoming a better version of myself—not just a better wife or mother, but a better individual—looking in the mirror became less daunting and even enjoyable. I began to see beauty where I hadn’t before.
Personal Encouragement in Every Step
Sometimes, the most potent encouragement comes from within. I started giving myself affirmations, looking directly into my eyes in the mirror and offering myself words of upliftment. There are times I tell myself, “Deb, you might not have the body of an Instagram model, but damn girl, you look amazing, and you worked incredibly hard to get here.” Ladies, it’s perfectly acceptable to look at yourself and affirm, “I am beautiful.” While there might be aspects you wish to change physically, it’s crucial to love yourself in your current state as you progress towards your goals. This self-love makes the journey itself much more meaningful.
Embracing My Inner Sexy Through Dance
Dancing makes me feel undeniably sexy, and I wholeheartedly embrace that feeling. Society often places excessive emphasis on modesty for women. However, there’s nothing wrong with feeling sexy; it’s a state of mind. It’s not about attracting others but about embodying a total confidence package that benefits every area of life. My sense of sexiness is independent of how much skin I reveal. During my mirror sessions, I revel in my curves, move my hips, and explore every sensual dance move that comes to mind. Why? Because it brings me joy, and my confidence skyrockets. This is what the Sexiest Naked Dance is truly about – personal empowerment.
Staying Authentic and Raw
My time in front of the mirror is precious because it’s when I am completely myself: raw, unfiltered, and genuinely real. Being able to look at my body and feel comfortable in my own skin is incredibly liberating. Do I always dance completely naked? Typically, it’s when I’m about to shower or have just finished. More often, I dance in my bra and panties. It’s a form of liberation. You might wonder if I still have stretch marks. Yes, I do. Is my C-section scar still visible? Absolutely! And is that slight pouch from the C-section still there? Yes, though it is gradually diminishing. But you know what? I don’t mind at all! I brought a precious life into this world, and my scars, stretch marks, and blemishes are beautiful reminders of that incredible fact. For that, I feel no shame.
Honoring My Body’s Journey
My self-love journey is a continuous million-mile endeavor. Each day, I commit to eating well, meditating, practicing yoga, and nurturing my inner self alongside my physical form. I refuse to hate my body simply because I haven’t yet reached my ultimate goal. I am deeply grateful for where I am now and choose to honor my progress. I am going to honor my body. My body works tirelessly for me every single day. Even when I push it to its limits and perhaps beyond during workouts, it perseveres and fights for me. Therefore, I will always be proud of it. I will reciprocate the love my body shows me.
True beauty originates from within. Whether your self-love journey began years ago, a month ago, or today, honor your process. Acknowledge your willingness to live life in all its beauty. Honor your body for the strength it demonstrates day in and day out. Honor yourself for striving to become a better version of you each day. Don’t let societal norms dictate your definition of beauty; let your spirit reveal that truth. Regardless of your size, the presence of stretch marks, or the thickness of your thighs, if you are on a path towards a healthier soul and body, you deserve celebration. If others don’t celebrate with you, then celebrate yourself. I do it daily—just me, my music, my mirror, and my dance moves. I dance to feel free, to experience joy, to be playful, to feel sexy, and above all, to feel love. You deserve to feel love. So, whatever your dance may be, just dance! Go for it!
