Dance Moms just isn’t the same without the fiery drama that Abby Lee Miller and her equally opinionated mothers bring to the screen. It’s a guilty pleasure to witness the chaos, and honestly, it beats watching Candy Apples try to hold the spotlight alone. Anyone else feel this way? Yes, it might be a bit hypocritical to admit, but the truth is out there.
Abby, it seems, is making moves in Los Angeles, scouting locations for a brand new studio. Her vision includes incorporating silks, those elegant aerial apparatuses, to give her dancers a competitive edge. This isn’t just a fleeting thought; Abby is seriously considering a permanent West Coast relocation, even believing Melissa would follow with Maddie and Mackenzie. As for her current dance team? Well, Abby appears ready to leave some behind and is already laying the groundwork for what could be “Dance Moms: L.A.” Help us all!
Meanwhile, Cathy is still feeling the sting of Abby’s recent victory and is fiercely determined to bring Candy Apples back to the top. Enter Anthony, the choreographer, who has become Cathy’s biggest supporter. Apparently, they’re now a dynamic duo. Cathy is in the process of assembling a fresh team. This includes three new girls with moms who seem to have embraced cosmetic enhancements and the return of her three favorite male dancers. One of the new moms is particularly driven to prove to Abby that her daughter is not insignificant competition. It seems reality TV loves a crossover moment, as some faces might be familiar from “Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition.” Cathy gives her dance parents a motivational speech, essentially asking for their unwavering support, with the looming threat that one dancer will be cut from the final team.
Anthony gets to work with his revamped troupe, and their group dance centers around the theme of first love. It’s a bit predictable. Frankly, Lifetime, Cathy might not be able to carry a show on her own, which is why she doesn’t have one. Watching Cathy’s parents engage in staged arguments in their viewing room is lackluster, even when the break dancer’s dad dramatically exits the studio. Another mom, in a moment of questionable insight, explains away his behavior by saying he’s “from the streets.” Really? These moms are quite sheltered.
Abby, dreaming of becoming a California girl, envisions a life in Los Angeles. If the audience wanted to watch a wealthy woman house hunting, “Million Dollar Listings” is readily available. Back in Philadelphia, Jill, Kelly, and Christi are enjoying a more relaxed atmosphere with Abby away. Kristie 2.0 educates the other mothers on West Coast culture, suggesting that L.A. will embrace Abby because they love a drag queen. Kristie 2.0 seems to be fitting right in! Jill expresses concern that even if Abby moves to California permanently, Cathy and her Candy Apples will still be a persistent presence in the ALDC world, even in Philadelphia.
In Ohio, Cathy is already down a dancer, which is not a good start. This week’s competition is practically in her backyard, and she’s determined to dominate. She’s worried that her new team isn’t bonding quickly enough, considering they’ve only been working together for a day and a half. But fear not, Cathy has Black Patsy and Nikia on speed dial – a potential game changer! Referring to her as Black Patsy is cringeworthy, though. Meanwhile, Abby’s friend John, doing hair and makeup for “Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition,” advises Abby to stay vigilant about Cathy and her competitive moves. And who is sneaky enough to spy on Cathy? If you didn’t immediately guess Jill, are you even a Dance Moms fan?
The next day, the missing dancer returns to Cathy’s group. It’s hard to keep track of these quickly rotating team members. Cathy distributes solo routines, and it becomes clear why this recap feels disjointed. The usual Dance Moms structure is missing! The dynamic of Abby’s moms’ drama with ALDC, the Maddie versus Chloe rivalry, and most importantly, the pyramid, are absent. Watching Cathy’s dancers (still nameless, at least for now) practice Anthony’s solos feels off. Botox mom is taken aback when Black Patsy enters Cathy’s studio, whispering, “She’s a fighter.” These women… The lack of ALDC moms is making me, and possibly others, miss the usual drama, raising questions about our own viewing habits. But these Candy Apples scenes are undeniably boring.
At the competition, Cathy and Candy Apples arrive in a stretch limo. The realization hits that we won’t see the familiar ALDC girls dance tonight. Jill and Holly arrive to spy on Cathy’s dancers, while backstage, Anthony argues with Cathy about some questionable, tight boy puppet shorts. Anthony’s artistic vision might be compromised, but Jill, Kelly, and Holly burst into Cathy’s practice room, creating a distraction. Jill and Black Patsy exchange insults, while Kelly observes that Patsy is trying to be a Holly-lite.
Road kill Botoxed daughter performs her solo first; she is undeniably talented. Yet, it doesn’t fill the void of the missing regulars. Puppet boy is next, also amazing, but the choreography’s awkwardness is cringeworthy. Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste. Jill compliments Cathy’s team but makes sure to point out that Cathy simply gathered already talented dancers from other studios; their talent isn’t Cathy’s creation. Abby calls Jill during the competition, seeking intel on Cathy’s activities. She’s not surprised that Cathy has recruited Botox and Black Patsy. Botox mom makes a misstep by telling Anthony she’s there for him, causing outrage among the other Candy Apple parents. Apparently, loyalty to Cathy is paramount. Anthony, arguably the most talented person in this group, is sporting an acid-washed shirt, buttoned-up, with a gold brocade trucker cap. Style choices aside, befriending Anthony seems appealing.
The Candy Apples group number is likely impressive, but their late ’90s country club costumes are distracting, as is the fact that Nikia’s love interest is played by a much shorter boy. Puppet boy takes third in solos, and while Anthony is proud, he wonders if tighter shorts would have improved his placement. Botox’s daughter gets second, and her mom seems displeased, though her expression is hard to read. The group dance wins first place. Congratulations? Cathy wants to speak with Vivi before eliminating a team member. Kelly, Jill, and Holly confront Cathy’s dance parents in the hallway, and break dancer dad starts with the insults. Black Patsy physically pushes Jill with a finger to her nose – a truly memorable moment.
Next week promises more of Cathy’s dancers, and Maddie will perform at “Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition.”
TELL US: WHAT WERE YOUR THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID YOU MISS ABBY’S DANCERS AS MUCH?
