The clock strikes Tuesday night, and for many, that means one thing: settling in for the latest episode of “Dance Moms Miami.” But for those truly immersed in the world of competitive dance, the drama starts much earlier. A quick scroll through Twitter on a Tuesday afternoon reveals the Miami Mommies already in full swing, their online sparring often rivaling the on-screen action of “Dance Moms Miami” itself. If you’re a fan and haven’t yet followed these mothers on social media, you’re missing out on a whole extra layer of entertainment – think reality TV meets social media wrestling, minus the costumes but definitely not the theatrics.
This week’s episode of “Dance Moms Miami” opens with a notable absence: Abby and Sammy are nowhere to be found as the coaches, Victor and Angel, prepare to unveil their weekly dance roster, “The List.” Victor, ever the pragmatist (or perhaps just oblivious to the undercurrents of mom-drama), suggests the other mothers should reach out and demand Abby’s presence. However, it’s clear the remaining mothers are far from displeased by Abby’s truancy. Angel, equally unfazed, declares he won’t waste time on those who aren’t present. And so, the show, and “The List”, goes on without them.
The rankings this week on “Dance Moms Miami” are unveiled from the bottom up, starting with Sammy. Angel deems Sammy unworthy of his “saliva,” a phrase that’s instantly quotable and perfectly encapsulates the sometimes harsh critiques delivered in the dance studio.
Hannah lands in fourth place, a familiar spot for her. Debi, Hannah’s mother, suggests it might be due to technique, but the reality, as the show often implies, is that fourth place seems to be Hannah’s default setting, regardless of her performance.
Lucas finds himself in third, penalized for, in Angel’s eyes, throwing Sammy under the bus. Little Miss Trouble, Lucas’s mother Brigette, interjects, arguing Lucas was merely defending Kimmy. But Angel is unmoved, declaring “a rat’s a rat,” intentions notwithstanding. This seems a harsh judgment, considering Lucas’s offense was a whispered opinion, highlighting the often-unpredictable nature of Angel’s critiques on “Dance Moms Miami.”
Kimmy secures second place, a position often associated with her consistent performance. However, this week, it’s attributed to her taking the blame for something she didn’t do. Angel’s cryptic studio rule of “Mind your own beeswax is the rule at Stars” adds to the ongoing drama and somewhat confusing logic of the ranking system.
Jessi reclaims the top spot, credited for her exceptional dancing despite the ever-present “ubermama drama” surrounding her mother. While Jessi accepts the praise with a beaming smile in the dance room, a confessional reveals her breaking point: next time her mother causes drama, Jessi threatens to “slap her,” perhaps preempting any potential outburst from Angel himself.
Amidst the rankings and studio politics, “Dance Moms Miami” delivers its first fashion moment of the episode, courtesy of Debi and her “semi-horizontal neckwear.”
Image alt text: Debi, a Dance Moms Miami cast member, showcases a unique, wide, silver necklace that sits horizontally across her collarbones, a standout fashion accessory from the show.
The competition this week is Starbound in San Antonio, a location that, according to the narrator, must already know of their arrival, given how often the studio is described as “the bomb dot com”—a phrase, sadly, absent from this particular episode of “Dance Moms Miami.”
Jessi and Kimmy, recognized as the studio’s technical powerhouses, are paired for a duet. The scene is filled with forced sweetness as Jessi beams at Kimmy, Kimmy beams back, and their mothers exchange equally saccharine smiles and arm pats.
Lucas, rewarded for his previous first-place win, earns another solo, despite his perceived tattling. And just as the routine announcements conclude, in walks Mayra, followed by the returning Abby and Sammy. Victor’s dramatic “Oh no she didn’t” perfectly captures the studio’s reaction to Abby’s unexpected reappearance. Abby’s outfit choice – a cold-shoulder top, perhaps injured in her dramatic entrance – adds another layer to her already theatrical return on “Dance Moms Miami.”
Image alt text: Abby Lee Miller, from Dance Moms Miami, makes a dramatic entrance wearing a black cold-shoulder top, highlighting her return to the dance studio and adding to the episode’s fashion moments.
In a confessional, Abby explains her and Sammy’s absence as a “Come to Dance Jesus moment,” a realization that Victor and Angel’s artistry is worth enduring the surrounding drama. Back in the studio, Abby requests a private word with Victor and Angel. Victor, in a passive-aggressive display, retorts he might find time later, addressing Abby as “Mrs. Late to Practice.”
Back to the dance assignments, Hannah is granted a solo, while Sammy is not. Sammy, surprisingly, expresses contentment with this decision, stating her love for the kids and even Angel and Victor.
Despite Abby and Sammy’s return, the group dance theme is announced as “abandonment.” Kimmy, in a moment of pure, childlike innocence, equates abandonment with an empty fridge – a testament to her endearing naiveté, making her arguably the most adorable personality on “Dance Moms Miami.”
Victor, in a move seemingly designed to temper Sammy’s punishment, decides to give her a featured role in the group dance. This, he explains, is to teach her that one can still be special as part of a team, a somewhat convoluted lesson delivered amidst the ongoing drama of “Dance Moms Miami.”
Abby, in a display of either bravery or masochism, ventures into the Mom Room. Susan launches into a softly spoken but pointed litany of Sammy’s perceived preferential treatment, contrasting it with Jessi’s harsh punishment for the infamous “yanking of episode 1.” Little Miss Trouble’s reaction to this discussion is described as nightmare-inducing, further amplifying the already high levels of mom-drama on “Dance Moms Miami.”
Abby’s Mom Room ordeal is cut short as Sammy bursts into tears over her low ranking, blaming her mother’s behavior. Abby, predictably, shifts blame to the other mothers. Angel, however, offers Sammy some tough love, advising her to “thicken her skin,” ignore the “mean girls,” and fully commit to the studio or leave.
Taking this to heart, Sammy declares she will portray abandonment in the group dance as if she were leaving Stars. Abby, undeterred, returns to the Mom Room, seemingly addicted to conflict or camera time. Susan suggests Abby should be humble and apologize. Abby, naturally, disagrees, prompting Susan’s dramatic walkout – the first of the day. “No class,” Abby mutters after her, perfectly encapsulating the often-petty squabbles that define “Dance Moms Miami.”
Hannah’s solo is titled “House of Pain,” with Victor instructing her to dance out her personal pain. His direction becomes muddled as he then focuses on Hannah’s weight, a recurring and uncomfortable theme on “Dance Moms Miami.” Ignoring this problematic commentary, the narrator shifts focus to Mayra’s hair, celebrating the return of her “Auburn Carol Brady On Steroids” style, complete with lyra-inspired earrings reminiscent of the circus episode.
Image alt text: Mayra, a Dance Moms Miami personality, showcases her voluminous auburn shag haircut, styled with large, hoop earrings, during a backstage scene.
Little Miss Trouble attempts a mother-to-mother nutritional intervention with Debi, but Debi quickly talks over her. Mayra then reveals Hannah was eating burgers at the airport—half a burger, no bun, on Victor’s advice, Debi clarifies. This leads to Debi’s second walkout of the day, escalating the already tense atmosphere of “Dance Moms Miami.”
In a confessional, Mayra, in a closer shot of her shag haircut, suggests Debi deliberately pushes food on Hannah when she’s working hard. Mayra believes Debi is feeding her child due to hard work making one hungry, a relatable point of view.
Outside, Angel comforts a crying Debi, but privately remarks that behind every overweight child is a mother buying the groceries. This whole weight discussion is clearly causing distress. Debi declares Hannah has the right to eat pizza, Mayra is forbidden from weighing her, and any further weight comments will result in them leaving the studio. The narrator expresses hope that the weight conversation will end, predicting Hannah will soon have a growth spurt, rendering the weight concerns moot and those criticizing her foolish.
A shout-out is given to Twitter pals at @dancemomfanprob for their profile photo, offering advice relevant to the ongoing drama: “Keep Calm and Fire Abby.” The sentiment is humorously noted to be slightly backward but appreciated nonetheless.
Back inside, Angel, seemingly abandoning the junior drama, declares he will focus on the seniors, whom he also loves beyond reason. The “seniors” include Mia Diaz, the tiny dancer previously concerned about a fire, identified via a quick Twitter check as a “much-heralded” talent.
In the Mom Room, Angel’s shift in focus ignites Ani’s anger. Debi proposes a theory: the coaches are secretly uniting against them, turning them against each other. The mothers collectively embrace this conspiracy theory and decide on a reverse psychology tactic: a group hands-in-the-middle huddle and a chorus of “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”
Image alt text: The Dance Moms Miami cast mothers engage in a tense hands-in-the-middle group moment, showcasing their strained relationships and on-screen drama.
Victor is predictably unhappy with the mothers’ antics, feeling mocked. He dismisses everyone from the studio. The mothers try to placate him, promising to take their “shenanigans” elsewhere, but it’s too late. Victor storms out, leaving a visibly upset Lucas in his wake.
Lucas, displaying remarkable maturity, tells Little Miss Trouble the dancers are there to dance, and the mothers are there to be mothers, not “a raging pack of divas.” He astutely summarizes the episode’s core conflict: “First you’re laughing, then you’re screaming, then you’re fighting, then you’re crying — and we can’t focus while you’re doing that.” This, the narrator declares, is the entire episode recap in a nutshell, jokingly offering Lucas a job.
Brigette attempts to defend her actions, explaining her unhappiness at Lucas being ranked third. Lucas, however, dismisses the list entirely, stating he doesn’t care if he’s at the bottom every day, knowing his own dancing ability transcends rankings. The narrator expresses mental support for Lucas’s wisdom, while Brigette offers a physical hug.
Jessi and Kimmy’s duet is revealed to be about sisterhood. Angel, in rehearsal, critiques their arm movements, humorously referencing the Macarena, a dance fad predating the girls’ births. For those unfamiliar, a YouTube link to the Macarena is provided for a “sixty second dance break!”
The duet choreography features impressive lifts, especially considering the lifter is a 14-year-old girl. Kimmy, however, jokingly expresses concern about being dropped, referencing past incidents with Lucas and Sammy, highlighting the physical demands and trust involved in their routines on “Dance Moms Miami.”
Image alt text: Kimmy is lifted high in the air by Jessi during their duet rehearsal on Dance Moms Miami, showcasing the challenging lifts and partnership in their dance routine.
Lucas’s solo theme is “telling the truth,” now apparently permissible. Victor emphasizes the need for “BAM!” in his performance.
Mayra, sporting a bob haircut and purple stretch pants, substitutes for Angel in ballet class. This evokes fleeting bad memories of Abby Lee Miller’s ballet instruction, though Mayra is acknowledged to have actual ballet experience, unlike Abby. The mothers are appalled by Mayra teaching ballet, while the kids are amused. Little Miss Trouble states she might respect Mayra if she performs a triple and an arabesque.
Angel interrupts the mothers’ complaints with a major announcement: he is taking the seniors to a competition in Miami, while Victor will stay with the juniors. Debi finds the irony of Angel abandoning the juniors during the “Dance of Abandonment” week highly amusing.
In San Antonio, the mothers continue to grumble about Angel’s absence. Victor defends Angel’s decision, asserting he is “fierce,” even alone, though arguably being upstaged by his own mother, Mayra.
Lucas’s “weapons” for his solo are his extensions, requiring him to make the audience believe his performance. Believability, Victor emphasizes, will lead to victory. Lucas then requests a bathroom break, which is less than ideal pre-performance.
The competition audience is shown, finally including “Dance Moms” fans, a step forward for the show’s recognition. Everyone in the audience seems to have received the “wear shades of pink and salmon” memo, creating a visually coordinated crowd.
Hannah’s solo performance is praised as powerful and stunning, dispelling any previous weight criticisms. Despite her strong performance, she receives second place, prompting Debi’s tearful pride.
Lucas wins first place for his junior solo, achieving the highest score of the day. Full-bladder dancing, it seems, works for Lucas. He and Hannah celebrate their successes with a hug.
Backstage, Mayra compliments Hannah, then immediately undermines the mothers, telling Victor they were laughing at her during ballet class. Debi and Ani, sensing trouble, quickly apologize. The other mothers remain silent.
Hubby Rik, previously engrossed in a comic book, suddenly chimes in with commentary on the show: “Piss you off, say I’m sorry. Piss you off, say I’m sorry. Piss you off, say I’m sorry. That’s all this show is!” He then expresses his desire for Abby’s return, lamenting her lack of apologies, in stark contrast to the current studio dynamic.
While preparing for the duet, Jessi injures her back during a leap. Kimmy jokingly anticipates another partner dropping her. However, Jessi perseveres through the pain, and Kimmy is successfully lifted. The duet performance is described as goosebump-inducing.
The group dance is noted for being quieter and more subtle than previous routines, also eliciting goosebumps and even tears. Sammy’s twirling is highlighted as a standout moment, and Abby is moved to tears, claiming she finally feels part of the Stars team. The narrator wryly concludes, “If you’re happy and you know it… show up for practice, won’t you?”
Jessi and Kimmy’s duet wins first place. The group dance also wins first, with Sammy proudly accepting the trophy.
Stars’ dominance in San Antonio prompts Victor to suggest getting “Starbound Champions” tattooed on them. Instead, the episode concludes on a lighter note with a final fashion moment: Victor’s freshly manicured nails.
Image alt text: Victor Smalley from Dance Moms Miami showcases his freshly done manicure with clear nail polish, a humorous fashion highlight at the end of the episode.
The preview for the next episode of “Dance Moms Miami” teases the arrival of Mia Diaz and her “Brigette-baiting mother,” promising even more drama and chaos as the season finale approaches.
The season finale of Dance Moms: Miami airs Tuesday, May 29 at 10/9CT on Lifetime.
Photos and video: © 2012 Lifetime Entertainment Services, LLC.
